Nonverbal Poetess

Michelle-Araujo-2

Nonverbal Poetess

drifting, wafting, crowding
her mind –
consuming visuals
hide

hide

hide

unspoken words

left

left

left

unsaid
swarming behind stoic flesh –
still formed face
slight curved grin
possibly not,

{if you know where she’s been}

creased eyes spew out!
massive silence of language, love,
grammatical things;
forlorn lives, wrenching pangs,
frightening thoughts,
bound up links,
of those, this, and that
florid decays

lost in muteness,
unable to speak,
words wrapped in fingers –
cannot convey!

quandaries and terrors,
spill through the night;
day rests with blankness,
but a Mind filled too tight!

nails scratch at throat,
dig them a well,
wish them to flow,
still a muzzled tongue prevails,
thrash out with quiescence –
unable to declare,
yes

yes

yes

verbiage lives in there!

orate

orate

orate

within teary-eyes
Nonverbal Poetess,
shares many words,
in her reserved;
blank stares

~~~~~~~~~~

I did not know if I would be able to participate with dVerse today, but this poem came to me while doing some other things, pondering the words that Tony shared onΒ Β dVerse Poet’s Pub ~ Open Link Night ~ Week 107.

I was moved by the three that Tony shared. I have felt them all in my own way. There have been many times that I have not shared for these very reasons.

This poem is inspired by my own moments of selective mutism. It happens when I become overwhelmed by emotions, anxieties, or sensory overload. I have had people respond to me in all sorts of ways because of my inability to get my words out. One thing that people assumed when this happened was that I had nothing to say. On the contrary, my mind was filled with tons and tons of things, but the words would not come out.

It used to be embarrassing for me because I did not know why I did this. I felt foolish and ridiculous because I could not speak. Now I understand, and writing poetry has helped me a great deal in being able to communicate better in all areas of my life. I still struggle with this, but once I understood why it was happening I became more accepting of myself. πŸ™‚

Little tidbit about me. πŸ™‚

About mindretrofit8

Sharing the twistings, and musings that twirl in my mind. Hoping others can relate, or at least enjoy... To know more about me personally you can visit my website at Mind Retrofit.
This entry was posted in Random Musings and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

25 Responses to Nonverbal Poetess

  1. brian miller says:

    our looks can convey much..and there are emotional situations that i have had to take my time writing because i was too close in the moment to really make sense of what i was feeling….for instance the shooting at virginia tech…it was a year later that i could really translate my experience as a first responder there…

    • I do that at times too. I take a while to process emotions. There are times when I may write a poem “in the moment,” but cannot read it until the emotions have settled. Sometimes I share them right away because I do not understand the impact that they have on me, other times I leave them in my drafts. Then, there are times I cannot write about it at all and I have to wait until I have distanced(processed) myself. I cannot imagine the impact that must of had on you. I can understand how it would take some time to be able to write or share anything about that experience though.

  2. oh, non verbal poetess, you have touched this heart and
    your words have resonated more than you could know.
    this is me, on so many days;

    nails scratch at throat,
    dig them a well,
    wish them to flow,
    still a muzzled tongue prevails,
    thrash out with quiescence –
    unable to declare,

    so i followed the link to wiki and, there it was;
    ‘Selective mutism usually co-exists with shyness or social anxiety.’
    after years of misdiagnosis, failed attempts throwing prescriptions
    at a problem which only made things worse, finally i found out that
    i have severe social anxiety.i meant to get back to your post,
    A List Of Random Thoughts because there was so much there i recognized.

    thankyou for being brave, sharing that link and for your wonderful poetry.

    • I knew I had to share that tidbit about myself! I almost did not, but something made me feel like I should. I am glad I did.

      I am diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, but that was not until last October. (I was diagnosed with several things that helped explain many things about myself, FINALLY.) I have had anxiety since I was a child, but grew up being very confused as to why I did certain things, thought certain ways, and why I had such difficulties that others did not seem to have. I have found that blogging and sharing my poetry has helped with some of my anxieties. I still struggle, but I have better and more positive coping mechanisms which, makes them not last as long. (Usually)

      Thank you for sharing too because it helps me to be reminded that I am not alone and that others can relate to what I share. πŸ™‚

  3. Your visuals on this poem cling onto our unconscious minds.
    We have to dig deeper in this galaxy of dreams,

    hiding,
    slipping,
    falling,

    void,
    spiral,

    Dance,

    You have brought us some very interesting creativeness into your world.

    πŸ™‚

    • Thank you Charlie! Love this,”dig deeper into the galaxies to dream!” It was a fantastic visual too. It will inspire a spiral of galactic thoughts and word dances. πŸ˜€

      • awesome! πŸ™‚

        Say, have I told you that I did 8 videos of me reciting at an open mic this past Saturday? Would you like for me to send you a link to my youtube?

      • Sure! Send it over. πŸ™‚

      • here you go: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yfw9qS38-Ho

        oh! by the way…try to guess how old I am.

      • It took a while, but I finally got to watch. I had technical difficulties with my headphones and had to pop over to my other computer after I could not them to work.

        First, I am horrible at guessing age! I cannot even try to guess. Everyone looks the same age to me, the age of young and not old. πŸ™‚

        Great reading! I see you have more videos as well. I am going to have a gander.

        Love your shirt!! NIN!!! Are you going to do more videos of your readings? I think that would awesome! Thank you for sharing and I look forward to more! πŸ™‚

      • I’m only 27 years old. πŸ™‚ Some people say I look 18 or 20…but I’m in my late 20’s πŸ™‚ hahaha!!!

        I am a big die hard fan of Nine Inch Nails! trent reznor is a musical genius. I’m going to see them this November 8th in L.A. πŸ™‚

      • I saw NIN in 1995, I think that is when it was; it was an incredible night. However, I do not recall all of it unfortunately, I was young and intoxicated. πŸ™‚ I listened to Downward Spiral religiously for a year straight. It pulled me through some dark places.

        Well, I still listened to it religiously along with the other albums, but I spent a lot of time that year with it on repeat. πŸ™‚

      • I think we both share the same religious feeling on (The Downward Spiral). I’ll share something here with you: If it wasn’t for (The Downward Spiral) I would not be here today. Trent Reznor Changed me…I was going to commit suicide by in the days. I was a victim of bullying since I was 5 years old till’ 15 years old. It dramatized me and since then…I’ve been writing and letting out my anger and hate towards humanity. Haven’t you read through my work? It’s all hidden, if you read closely you’ll find things about why I write weird things about humanity and technology etc. All my works consist of bullying and frustration. I wish I could’ve had friends at that time defending me…All I ever got at that time was getting beat up everyday and name calling. But, trent is my hero and my idol. I love him and I will thank him hopefully in the future for him saving my life with his music and (The Downward Spiral). There you have it…I got to tell you something about me…and what had been done to me. πŸ™‚

      • Thank you for sharing Charlie!

        I suppose this would explain why so many of your poems speak to me. I just wrote about “Hurt” briefly on my other blog about a week ago, I think. I cannot recall exactly, but I know recently.

        I too am a victim of being bullied, I write about it some on my personal blog along with my experiences with being abused. (Not all of it, mostly the processing of healing. I am not in a place to talk about what happened to me, my abuse started at five.)

        I now know why your words resonate with me many times. I did attempt suicide when I was around 16, long story short, my mom found me. However, my journey did not get better. Depression, has been a long time friend that I have to work through. Along with other things due to my past experiences.

        BUT here we are, alive and writing! I SO appreciate you sharing some of your story. I hope you get to thank him one day too, he is an interesting fello. I have read about him in the past.

  4. Laurie Kolp says:

    Yes, it is in there… powerful!

  5. prewitt1970 says:

    That my dear was freaking brilliant.!
    B.

    • Why, thank you so much Benjamin! It was stuck in my brain and felt like it was going to burst out. I was so excited to find that image. I thought it worked perfectly.

  6. I like this very much but I think the new one is your best.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s