stirring aches blanch soul’s bowels,
never to be soothed;
kept hidden far away –
shutter at the fear,
they never were there –


forever forgotten –
to be exposed!
the soul of another,
calling deep within,
lyrically; instrument to mouth –


as it beckons;
each suffering soul –
encounter raw beauty,
desperate to escape;
petrified thoughts chisel,
drums berate,


Tear open!
Shred into slivers!
Peel locked up scabs!
Dismantle the terrors!
Thrash the bonds!
An inner being AWAKE!


unfolded layers –
years, hiding true identity;
a Being, of worth?
walk into glowing skin,
of flesh and bone;
before all~


husk unfounded layers,
shell each anxiety ridden,
laugh, light, bare
vulnerabilities divulged,
breathing out
a legacy Unclothed


I attempted the 140 character challenge that Samuel Peralta shared on dVerse. I confess, I actually used an old poem that I was wanted to “refresh” anyway. Here is the original from April 2011.

This was an interesting challenge it took me a while. I liked it though and I think I will continue to try this on my own to improve my skills. Thanks Samuel for a great challenge! Be sure to check out everyone else who has shared! 🙂

About mindretrofit8

Sharing the twistings, and musings that twirl in my mind. Hoping others can relate, or at least enjoy... To know more about me personally you can visit my website at Mind Retrofit.
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12 Responses to Unclothed

  1. annotating60 says:

    I had not written for a long time and then became interestedin Pinterest. There you have 500 spaces to work with for and entire pin and I began composing poems using that constraint. I found it very helpful in not only tightening my use of language but also searching out words that had very specific meaning to what I was working on.>KB

  2. Rob Taylor says:

    The ego fades to oblivion……the revelation of self….
    Not sure you could really improve on this….it’s very good….

    • Thank you very much Rob! I love the words you used here “The ego fades to oblivion……the revelation of self….” It is both frightening and exciting at the same time. And a life long challenge. 🙂

  3. brian miller says:

    love how with that awakening comes wings…in that one stanza…the unclothed legacy as well…very cool touch…the uncovering of the true identity as well…you did well with this challenge…

    • Thank you Brian! I liked this challenge, it really pushed me. Many times my poems just come like an explosion, now I am learning to take my “explosions” and clean them up a bit. 😉

  4. There is a vague undercurrent, of the stuff that dreams and nightmares are made of, that runs through this work – images only glimpsed, terrors only in shadow, a realization only partly understood. The overall effect is provocative, disturbing. I’m also thankful you linked to the original, so that you could see how the disciplined framework helped to tighten the verses. Bravo!

    • Thank you Samuel! Excellent challenge!

      I enjoyed attempting to be so disciplined it helped me streamline what I was trying pour through in emotion and words. I think I will try this with some of my older poems I have wanted to “refresh.” It really helped using my older poem to compare to and see the difference it made.

  5. louiville says:

    Two images come to mind. The fear of being part of one’ body. The dread of souls reincarnated again into human flesh having to relive the harshness of life. Quite a thoughtful poem.

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