I never meant to blurt them out,
the words that had not formed before,
the ones that are supposed to mean,
a magnitude of significance.
They flew from my lips,
for the first time with meaning.
Reciprocation to others not truly understanding.
They had no consequence, did not mean the same.
Words that had wings.
I tried to get them back in,
the thickness of the night air would not let them go.
Why did they come out?
Please don’t run in fear!
Those words have such a depth,
deeper weight to me than most.
I never used them lightly.
At least not with that intensity.
Clawing at the vapors,
the midst that spun around,
your frightened eyes.
Nothing could be done.
The words escaped before my control,
they flew out and lingered,
your ears heard and my tears fell.
If only my secret was kept hidden.
If only I could vacuum them back.
Suck them back in,
cause them to disintegrate.
Just make them go away!
Never heard, locked away forever.
But no! They are there,
they exposed me.
They live in the atmosphere,
the waves of echoing past.
Embers of stinging heart-felt words,
Wishing they had never taken flight,
keeping my veiled eyes covered.
The few words that have great importance,
never taken lightly,
being flung out in desperation,
wanting to share.
And they collapsed into the wind,
taking off as the moth of the night,
always flapping, revealing my vulnerability.
At least I could say them,
in a moment-first.
At least I could mean them,
if for a time.
The experience of feeling them,
the desire to share them,
though my body forcibly shook them out,
and my mind had no control over my tongue.
They had their own strength,
more powerful than will.
Hasty and dangerous,
they fueled a burn that could not be contained.
Fleeing into the stars,
wrapping into the moon,
twisting into the sun light,
ever existing endlessly captured.
The words escaped into the chasm.
The words with universal comprehension,
existing in the reality what was uttered,
full force co-existing with all the others,
who could not contain them either.
Their true meaning,
awe and uneasiness of them,
the truth of the heaviness,
that keeps them drifting in the air.