I wasn’t having a particularly great day the other day, but I wasn’t feeling sad, mad or glad. It was one of those void days I have, where I really have no words to describe my day or myself. I found it odd that I had a scripture with an image pop into my mind for what seemed to be no apparent reason.
The scripture was Psalm 56:8 You have kept count of my wanderings; store my tears in your water-skin -aren’t they already recorded in your book? (CJB). As I heard, well not really “heard”, this scripture I saw an image of all the tears that have been held in heaven. Then I saw them pour down as rain, washing over us. It was a cleansing.
Of course that is what rain does, it cleans things but I felt that it was a refreshing and an acknowledgment of people’s pain. My pain included. This is not a new image I am sure and I am not trying to make this super spiritual, it was just a moment I had of realizing that all of these other people on earth have tears stored up in heaven, recorded in the books of God.
They are stored and then they rain down and wash over us all. But they are recorded forever. We all have tears and all of our tears help cleanse one another. Our aches, our hurts, our frustrations, our anger, our joy, our tears from laughter, every tear shed is a cleansing for another person as well. It is a cleansing of bitterness or a cleansing of freedom.
We choose to use our tears for manipulation or to try to communicate our need for help. We are consumed by tears of joy for others and our self or we have tears of jealously because of their fortune.
I have gone through times in my life when I could not cry no matter how hard I tried, others cried for me. When David and I met, I was not a crier at all. He actually prayed for me to cry! What is that? It seems that his prayer worked because since he prayed that for me several years ago, I became a big cry baby! I do believe that childbirth had something to do with changing the chemistry in me somehow too and that was possibly a big part. 🙂
David understood the importance of tears. He knew that I needed healing and restoration that needed to have tears shed in order to receive them. It was a good thing. I found release in tears. I discovered that I shouldn’t be ashamed or afraid to cry for myself. I discovered that it actually felt good to just have a good cry sometimes. I also discovered that my own tears could help others.
Sharing the stories in my life of when I have shed tears relates to people. It helps to bring connectedness and more compassion on my part because I realize either no one has ever experienced what I have or many have experienced it. Either way it brings clarity and healing because how can someone possibly have compassion toward me if they have never had experiences like mine or relate in any way? I find knowing that helps me not to assume everyone knows what I am talking about. It also helps to share those experiences so people know that they do happen. When we talk about what we have kept secret, it sheds light on all the differences that are in the world. We need to talk about our tears.
I have always been able to cry for others though. I feel their pain and their joy. I experience it full sensory and at times have felt like my heart would burst from their sadness or their happiness. If I encounter someone crying in pain, I normally feel it in the depths of my soul. It is a painful ache that I just want to take away. It doesn’t mean I understand it at all, I just feel it. I just want to fix it.
Seeing that image of all the tears in heaven, waiting to be poured down in showers, made me think that tears are not all bad. They can be very good for healing, restoring and cleansing. I immediately thought of the water cycle as I saw the image and thought of the scripture. I imagined the clouds being God’s hands holding bottles all of our tears around the world. He holds them, pours them out and leaves it up to us how we will use that cleansing for ourselves and for others. We are actively participating with Him to make the choices to help others with our shed tears, whether they are tears of joy or tears of pain. I know I may sound cheesy but I thought it was happy thought to share.
I have for many years been comforted in that scripture, the thought of Him knowing all of my wanderings, holding all of my tears and keeping them written down, brings great peace. It makes me feel connected to Him and others.
Psalm 56 (CJB)
1 For the leader. Set to “The Silent Dove in the Distance.” By David; a mikhtam, when the P’lishtim captured him in Gat: Show me favor, God; for people are trampling me down -all day they fight and press on me.
2 Those who are lying in wait for me would trample on me all day. For those fighting against me are many. Most High,
3 when I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
4 In God – I praise his word -in God I trust; I have no fear; what can human power do to me?
5 All day long they twist my words; their only thought is to harm me.
6 They gather together and hide themselves, spying on my movements, hoping to kill me.
7 Because of their crime, they cannot escape; in anger, God, strike down the peoples.
8 You have kept count of my wanderings; store my tears in your water-skin -aren’t they already recorded in your book?
9 Then my enemies will turn back on the day when I call; this I know: that God is for me.
10 In God – I praise his word -in ADONAI – I praise his word –
11 in God I trust; I have no fear; what can mere humans do to me?
12 God, I have made vows to you; I will fulfill them with thank offerings to you.
13 For you rescued me from death, you kept my feet from stumbling, so that I can walk in God’s presence, in the light of life.